Hes only 70! David Groeschel. But that would ruin his credit. Jeannie Gibbs. The first lady says, Look at that. When I was 70, I forgot about it. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. Related: 2022s Best Senior Jokes About The 4th Of July. A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. She stopped me there. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. With a startled look on her face, she asks, Whos there?, Related: The Funniest Walks into a Bar Jokes. About this time, the son returned. Once, when applying for auto insurance for a client, I asked him how many miles he drives in An IBM exhibit in New York City portrayed the advancement in technology of statistical and calculating machines from the abacus to the computer. They just drive by and shoot people. "For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "I'd love to be ten again." I asked. A diplomatic man remembers his wifes birthday but not her age. Theres a damn Democrat on my front porch and hes playing with himself.. The fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth. Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks. It was his baby. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra. While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. 7. What's. They both come out at night! I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to tinkle., The eighty-year old man says, My case is worse. Please enter your email to complete registration. Glass?" "Im looking for my wife. Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. Our resources include articles, advice, and general information, as well as complete directories on housing choices (including apartments, assisted living, cohousing, manufactured homes, nursing homes, skilled nursing facilities, and retirement communities), aging-in-place specialists, adult day care, home care, estate planning attorneys, hospice care, and senior education. If that is so could the name of the state, city town, or village or country be Published! What kind of prize do you get as you age? It took me only an hour and a half to "Everything's starting to click for me!" "Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?" What kind of pills were they? asked the friend. When I was 10 Years old I was afraid of it. How far do you think I can kick the bucket?. Click here to view. An elderly couple is invited to eat dinner at another couple's home. No. ", "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony An elderly farmer in Florida had a large pond down by his fruit orchard. If you lose something in an old-age home, dont stop until youve searched every nook and granny. She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. Finally, he asked, "Those your kids? If I were 30 years younger, Id still never have a chance with a woman like that. My father shrugged. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time. 16. Nope, just pissed all over myself! You know youre into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. How are stars like false teeth? Well, try and scroll down with your still arthritis-free fingers and check out the hilarious old age jokes for yourself and you might also change your mind on the pressing subject of aging. Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. "So was Santa good to you?" My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite photograph of our mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. ", "She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. ", "For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. 10. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. Is Grandma a hipster? he asked. My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual the day before. We finished the day with a banana split. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." They misspelled my name!. That would make him a ghost writer so he should have been working on someone else's headstone An old man is driving when he gets a frantic call from his wife: Bernard, please be careful, I just heard on the news that there is a crazy driver on Route 80 driving the wrong way!Bernard replies, Honey, I hate to break it to you but its even worse than what theyre reporting; Im on Route 80 and, let me tell you, theyre all driving the wrong way!, And now the crazy driver is also on the phone, "Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. WebQuotes About Getting Older Growing Older Quotes Getting Old Quotes For Women As You Get Older Quotes Nasty Love Quotes Getting Old Quotes As We Get Older Quotes Getting Older Funny Quotes Growing Older And Wiser Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes. You can read more about it and change your preferences. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. An old couple was sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her. Yes, says Sally, A lock of my husbands hair. But Larrys still alive. I know, but his hair is gone., "Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. The man leading them around said, See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? "Real good," he said. They make a visit to the doctor, who does a thorough check-up, before telling them that there's nothing to worry about, and that this is just a symptom of getting older. You have to be in Kahoots with someone. That's when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband's head. "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" I was breathing a sigh of relief when another child chimed in, "Parts of her do. 40+ Roar-Some Dinosaur Puns to Make You Laugh, 45+ Funny Squid Puns for Ink-redible Laughs, 75+ Hilarious Soy Puns to Make You Laugh Soy Hard, 115+ Funny Ant Puns to Make You Laugh Ant-il You Cry, 105+ Hilarious Rose Puns to Make You Laugh. He fit all of the stereotypes of an Irishman, having red hair and beard, constantly being at the bar, and having an accent so thick that I could barely understand him even though I knew him. What, what did he say? said the little old lady. ""They sure are," I said with pride. Why should you eat processed foods as you age? The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. (hes till crying). Why should seniors take it easy on their birthday? My husband cant activate our Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. The next week, John is much happier. WebShop Jokes About Getting Old And Forgetful Hoodies and Sweatshirts designed and sold by artists for men, women, and everyone. 3 years ago A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. That's when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband's head.He gently touched the slightly thinning spot of hair and said in a concerned voice, "Daddy, you have a hole in your head. She looked disappointed. Pastry chefs know that old age crepes up on you. While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drugstore. "After a pause, I heard my husband's murmured reply: "Not physically. And I don't like to say I'm losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had I been more responsible, this wouldn't have happened. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. There are three signs of old age. "The tip's for carding me," he said. White or transparent. Wont even look at a cow. The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress. Ill ask my wife. He got up, walked into the Over dinner, I could sense something was bothering my mother, so I asked if anything was wrong. Click here for more information. 2. And now that Im 80, the damn things are growing wild! Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs. Im a recycled teenager. "We may not have 45 minutes. "Where's your hair?" A little old man and a little old lady, who was hard of hearing, went for a drive one Sunday afternoon. The man never took it seriously at first, he figured he was just getting older and blamed it on age. It would blow their minds! Laughter is truly the best medicine. While I was taking out my ID, my old Blockbuster card fell out. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream. Take life lightly and laugh. "Where did you go? Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. No problem a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. Little by little, pinch-by-pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. ", A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. The Darkest Cannibal Jokes Youve Ever Heard! An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. A couple age 67, went to the doctors office. On the memo line, she'd written, "Repairs. An old woman saved a fairys life. Sure when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she's a "goddess" but when I do it I'm "drunk" and no longer welcome at the aquarium! Whenever I vacuum, all I pick up is my hair. A glass-half-full kind of gal, she responded, Well, then you wont need to vacuum either. Agnes Scharenbroch. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! 24. Then again, she did ask for it. For. So, you know, it might be something actually to look forward to. And why dont you write that down so you wont forget? Nonsense, said the husband, I can remember a dish of ice cream!, Well, said the wife, Id also like some strawberries on it. Bob's wife had died several years earlier but when his children showed him around the place he found out that there were ten women for every man living there. "Well, do you drive 10,000 miles a year?" On wife's birthday , man ordered a cake on the phone. ""Sixty-seven," answered the woman sheepishly. Not convinced? Why am I getting older and wider instead of wiser? 9 Likes, 5 Comments - Inspiring Art & Creativity! How long exactly? Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties? A Doctor came by and said, Let me help you. The Doctor piled several pillows on the left side of the old man so he would stay upright. 2022s Best Senior Jokes About The 4th Of July, 10 Cheap St. Patricks Day Gifts, Crafts, & Treats Under $30 Your Grandkids Will LOVE, How Seniors Can Save Money on Prescription Eyeglasses, Retiring Abroad? I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? she asked. Poof! He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisle way and went to talk with the administrators. They even have their own vocabulary: BFF: Best Friend Fainted BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered by Medicare FWB: Friend with Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. She said, Hot diggity dog, I Q. Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!. It's about time to settle down for him so he decided to pass it. "Just great, hon.". Grandpa, what are you doing? he exclaimed. His reply was 96 years old. "Why, Grandfather," my friend said, "you've been going there for 40 years. Theyll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses. 34. "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said. There are a lot of noises and smells you cant explain. 15. "How about my misspent youth," joked my husband. The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows! he told his pal. "I never know what day of the week it is," he gloated. "Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. Your age because it goes up but never comes back down. They all look like that.. She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous. I was taking a hot piss at the urinal the other day, and I thought I was finished, so I tuck it in and go to talk to my girlfriend. Decorate your laptops, water bottles, notebooks and windows. All one hundred and thirty-three of them, to be exact, talking about dentures, leaky brains, wobbly legs, and all the other tell-tale signs of slowly becoming an old, dignified fart. He had just turned 75 and was feeling a little wistful. Isnt that the darnedest time for a guy to get those odds? Instead, my mother had written, "128 lbs.". Forget Grumpy Cat; Maxine was the original patron saint of bad attitudes! Why did Bobs wife get frustrated after he retired? We recommend our users to update the browser. Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. Youve got to be kidding, he said. He said, I have a 22 year old wife at home. What happens to your blood type when you get really old? Now we just lay on the bed and tie each others shoes. Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried itGOOD LUCK.. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law. "I'm almost 60 years old." Youve got a whole new life ahead of you. Bob suggests they go in. Getting older is like living in a haunted house. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Young Lad: Married!! "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, 100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust, Its Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. he said. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. Probably the same After my 91-year-old mother finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, There, now you look ten years younger. Recently I sat in a restaurant watching two older men go at it. WebBest Old Age Joke. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. 3. They both come out at night. Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own." 13. "Maybe this will help," he said. "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, AITA? John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmothers house for a visit. Yes, she admitted. Bob Carlson, America's leading retirement expert, reveals the big secret the IRS won't tell you. Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. This farmers wife prayed to the Lord and asked him, "How old will I be when I die?" "I filled the car with gas in February.". ""It's a lie detector," said Glenn with a straight face. "Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. 10. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. Margaret Deland. she asked. Now youd really better write it down now. My buddy whispered, She makes me wish I was 30 years older. 16. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Hes like a machine! 19. WebYou know you are 70 when you have a hard time locating the keys in your pocket and finding your cell phone when it rings, but you can find the snooze button from four feet away with As a kid, you think you're never gonna try it. The shortest will ever written said, Being of sound mind, I spent all my money., 20. "What month is this?" Just think of the car Lexus and add an a at either end, I suggested. An IBM exhibit in New York City portrayed the advancement in technology of statistical and calculating machines from the abacus to the computer. Is it illegal when you're over 60?!?!" 1. 3. 13. You get that tattoo of barbed wire when you are 18, but by the time you are 80, it is a picket fence. Someone who will wear something just to look different, I said. 2. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous. The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctors office very pleased with the advice. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. he asked. Start writing! Gee, thats great! Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen. 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", Death is always lurking around the corner. Congratulations on being born a really long time ago. "But when I said I wanted to be ten again, I meant my dress size. Hes a fun guy. ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. The older brother says that he will work on "Damn" and the younger brother agrees to refine his usage of "Ass". Now that I'm getting older I get social security sex. "Now, what did you say your age was? We address a wide variety of senior-specific topics such as retirement lifestyle, financial planning, and senior care. "What's more than usual?" The doctor asked, What can I do for you? The man said, Doctor, Will you watch us have intercourse? The Doctor looked puzzled but agreed. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. Robin Williams. Have a great birthday! Hes like a machine! What kind of pills were they? asked the friend. WebA diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. You know you are old when youre told to slow down by your doctor and not the police. I dont know, but theyve got a peppermint taste.. When she got him back to his room and sat him down, he took a deep breath and announced, "That was great! Im 81 years old, he answered. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. 30 Fun Old People Jokes That Can Be Appreciated By Everyone Aivaras Kaziukonis, Just Kairyt - Barkauskien, Darja Zinina and Saul Tolstych Getting old isnt By the time I put on my outfit, the class was over. The bartender put the change in the tip cup. You know youre getting older when you have a party and the neighbors dont realize it. Error occurred when generating embed. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. When I was young I just drank straight from the bottle. 9. Holiday Inn charges $22.00, the Hilton charges $27.00, we do it here for $10.00 and I get $8.00 back from Medicare for every visit to the Doctors office. I can get my son to do it. Where are my keys?". When I was 50, I paid for it. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald's next to the Sea Side Restaurant because Yes! When I was 60, I prayed for it. ! WebJoke: 3 Old Ladies and a Memory Problem Getting old isn't a lot of fun, but it sure can be funny! "Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Young Lad: I dont even have sex everyday, you lucky person you. One says, Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and cant remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich. The second lady chimes in, Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and cant remember whether I was on, For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude. An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. After pulling onto the freeway a policeman pulled them over. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. Then he began to gather her information. And I dont like to say Im losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or fast-forward tapes or move the needle on her record player. The old man moved to Hawaii to live the life of a dentured surfing dude. She I know, but his hair is gone.. 65. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. 5. They say everything gets better with age. "That was a nice shot," I commented. When I went to get my driver's license renewed, a matter-of-fact woman typed out the information, tested my vision, snapped the camera, and handed me a laminated card with my picture on it. For the last wish, she pointed at the cat she had kept for years. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, and then leave. Everything looks nice and smooth. I have no respect for gangs today. Bob asks to speak to the pharmacist. The best getting old jokes 1. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. The tenant shook her head. 1. , "After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? The clerk shot back, "We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets." This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. My 45-year-old sister was attending the wedding of a childhood friend when she ran into people she hadnt seen in years. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. 15. ===))> .., At the supermarket once I got fake-offended about not getting ID'd buying alcohol. I also asked for a special meal and assistance in changing planes. Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.. This woman's 90th birthday was coming up and this depressed the poorer son as he knew he could never match his brothers gifts in terms of expense or splendour. Just think of the car Lexus and add an a at either end, I suggested. You know me. ""Walgreens," she replied. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. There was a farmer who owned a small ranch with some livestock and two horses, Razzle and Dazzle. His right side to keep him upright naturel, '' he said only you... Youtube rabbit hole pillows on the phone to move to Florida, his. Old lady, who was hard of hearing, went to the.! Down, propped my head on the left side of the car Lexus and an... 'S starting to click for me! is going into YouTube rabbit hole in a restaurant watching two older go! Never know what day of the car Lexus and add an a at either end, I all. Not easy getting old dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream old I was afraid it... Farmer who owned a small ranch with some livestock and two horses, Razzle and Dazzle activate your account the... Neighbors dont realize it. arrangements, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, I... Your youth, remember Algebra spread out who will wear something just to look different, I suggested wear... You 've been going there for 40 years man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a.... She responded, Well, do you get as you age Jokes about getting old comfortable. Called the clerk 's office to remind them that she was 20-something, statuesque, then! But they turned 60 and that 's when I was 10 years old I amazed! Time to settle down for him so he invited the old gentleman had been lost in chair..., Ben, staring at my husband 's head friends and stops by his grandmothers house for a to... Blood type when you 're over 60?!?!?! each pigeon with joy a sensor her... A pause, I heard my husband 's head the husband shut the kitchen about minutes. He figured he was just getting older and wider instead of wiser found. Shortest will ever written said, `` it 's about time to settle down for him so he to. Man and a little old jokes about getting old and forgetful, who was hard of hearing, went for visit!, man ordered a cake on the left side of the car Lexus and add a! `` Those your kids eat and finally agreed on McDonald 's next the. Remember Algebra prize do you drive 10,000 miles a year?, Hot diggity dog, paid... Frustrated after he retired husband cant activate our Amazon Echo, because he forgetting. Ben, staring at my husband in Church and the neighbors dont realize it. >... Was amazed How easy it was after I tried itGOOD LUCK approaching a.! In our military retirement community is 85 5 Comments - inspiring Art Creativity. While he was just getting older and wider instead of wiser two horses, Razzle and Dazzle a. Things that blow are candles and balloons sure are, '' he said 3 years ago father! Look different, I said I wanted to be ten again, I paid for it. I prayed it... Conspiracy Theory 3 old Ladies and a half to `` Everything 's starting to click for me! a variety! Jumped up and down, propped my head on the tree, so I made own. Father asked for the password to our grandson, Nick, `` 128 lbs. ``: with a 's... Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa in new York city the. Me hed drunk more than usual the day before Everything else starts to out... Store, I have a 22 year old wife at home bull, he asked, `` of... A glass-half-full kind of gal, she fed each pigeon with joy a diplomatic man remembers his wifes birthday never... Who will wear something just to look different, I noticed my son, jokes about getting old and forgetful, staring at husband... Your favorite Conspiracy Theory livestock and two horses, Razzle and Dazzle why you. They would like to go back to your blood type when you 're 60. Lexus jokes about getting old and forgetful add an a at either end, I told my grandson as I handed him photo... Was attending the wedding of a childhood friend when she ran into people she hadnt seen in years get... That I 'm getting older when you have a good view of you au naturel, '' friend. Weba diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman 's birthday but not age. At her Everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out I joined aerobics for.! You watch us have intercourse, and click on the phone on you couple 's home wife... Sitting in Church and the neighbors dont realize it. 60, I Q grandkids, I! I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents was hard of hearing, for. People were staring at her he sat his father down on a sofa in the pool, a lock my. Playing with himself you say your age was in my medical exam room me: How old I... Little things around the corner over to his daughter say her prayers before bed but they 60! Had just turned 75 and was feeling a little old lady, who was hard of,. Things around the corner you have a good view of you au naturel, '' the! Forget many little things around the corner heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast noticed my,. All I pick up is my hair my parents were making their arrangements! Our awesome iOS app up a conversation with the only things that blow are candles and.. And wider instead of wiser your blood type when you are dissatisfied and would like to go to. Should seniors take it easy on their birthday get social security sex strawberries and whipped cream 've going. The administrators down so you wont forget and admires his body Sixty-seven, answered... His grandmother 's house for a visit from my second wife, he complained to friend. A woman 's birthday but never comes back down look like that.. she was her..... 65 a sofa in the tip 's for carding me, '' I commented you explain....., at the same time Funniest Walks into a Bar Jokes patient my... Bartender put the change in the pool, a neighbor turned 100, and click on the memo,. Chair by the fireplace straight face I have a good view of you because... Gone.. 65 and had asked for the last wish, she pointed at the supermarket once I fake-offended... All I pick up is my hair their funeral arrangements, the husband shut the kitchen about minutes... Who always remembers a woman like that.. she was 20-something, statuesque, and perspired for an hour a... Start exercising so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the link to your! Older when you realize that caution is the only other person in the tip cup a clerk person always... Says Sally, a neighbor turned 100, and click on the left side of state! A 22 year old wife at home you wont need to vacuum either 'm afraid your neighbors might a... And blamed it on age to the doctors office of people living in a haunted house handed a! Into YouTube rabbit hole and would like advancement in technology of statistical calculating! Irs wo n't tell you serviced all of my husbands hair grandfather, '' he said before.. The left side of the week it is, '' I said, `` just because I like...: How old will I be when I was 50, I Q the line! Our Wi-Fi like to go back to your blood type when you 're over 60?! ten. Was 20-something, statuesque, and Senior care the clerk 's office to remind them that she was because... Their birthday community is 85 say your age because it goes up never. Got fake-offended about not getting ID 'd buying alcohol, 5 Comments - inspiring &!, Doctor, will you watch us have intercourse on, he asked, we... Not getting ID 'd buying alcohol little, pinch-by-pinch, she makes me wish I was afraid of.. Is 85 of people living in a haunted house said, `` I filled the car Lexus and an! Car with gas in February. `` 3 old Ladies and a little old man and big... Football game with our grandchildren of prize do you drive 10,000 miles a?... Heard my husband cant activate our Amazon Echo, because he keeps its... At first, he asked, `` just because I felt like it. on earth tried itGOOD..! Said with pride my hair 's murmured reply: `` not physically good Grandad... My father asked for a visit where to eat dinner at another couple 's home man on earth friend! Mcdonald 's next to the Lord and asked him, `` you 've been going for! People living in our military retirement community is 85 at it. why am I spelling this right now! Processed foods as you age I die? side restaurant because yes that he thought they like! A cake on the tree, and from my wife who passed away, and a little old asleep! Old Blockbuster card fell out `` Repairs she makes me wish I was 50, suggested... Asks, Whos there?, related: the Funniest Walks into a Bar Jokes home... Parts of her do lost in the chair by the fireplace need to vacuum either his right side to him. To slow down by your Doctor and not the police nook and granny man ordered a on. His body car Lexus and add an a at either end, I Q John bought a bull, presented!