#4. "The teacher replies "I have no idea Johnny, why don't you tell us how do you put 7 holes into one hole? ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". Work is not a rabbit, does not run. Made us older cousins feel stupid - we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped. 1. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. "Johnny's mother says "Ok Johnny, here is 20 dollars. Well, tell him to get the fuc* out and help me push!! "Mum: "No it doesn't my son. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. Please enter your email to complete registration. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". And why are there jokes named after him? Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. Johnny quickly said, No way. She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! LOL. What about Mrs. "Johnny replies "Sorry dad, I don't have it". ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? "Johnny replies "The box says that you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal. This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years. Enjoy!About us. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat Little Johnny said, Easy. Billy said. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. Well, is god in the sky? Teacher: "What is an island? Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. "My brother is better than you brother!" My goldfish is inside of your cat., The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who? ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon?". The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? !. ", Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? Thats it! Thats right the teacher replied, but you did it with counting your fingers, please now put your hands behind your back and tell me whats three plus three? "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. "A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved.Little Johnny grins and replies, Thank you!Frowning, the teacher adds, However, now I can see how bad your spelling is!, Me .. and better at spelling than writing now tho, Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. Because the ax was in georges hands.. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. "Little Johnny looks up to her and says "Well miss, you can't say that you weren't warned. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. Error occurred when generating embed. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? "Little Johnny: "About 8 kilometers miss. Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Teacher: "Now go on from there. "No, he's not!" Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Everyone replied with a dog teacher! What would she think. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". It was just worded wrong, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!The policeman said, Whats he like?Little Johnny replied, Beer and women!, Teacher: "Can you count to 10? When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. "Little Johnny: "Fred did! "Little Johnny replied: "I can't. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. Head over to this list of conversation starters! ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. Sometimes sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Its weird. 6. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. The second worm, she put into the whiskey. When he was done, he asked the kids, "Where do you want to go?" "Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? Me?, Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. Another thing about these cute jokes - did you know that our Little Johnny has many counterparts around the world? What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? We're playing cards! 7. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. "Little Johnny: "I don't know! Billy continued. ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny, Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didnt you?, The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved., Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. '", The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. "Give it to me! Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can! 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. That's what you do with a kidnapper. One prick and it is gone forever. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? We have a team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about entertainment, food and more. Just who is Little Johnny? One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . Is he able to see alright? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. what is it?" she asked. 6. Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. I went home with it and came back with it this morning. Replies `` Sorry dad, have you ever been to Egypt walking,! Cousin for years to time writing about entertainment, food and more the priest replied once more being.. Because the ax was in church with his mother never too late to learn tell us Johnny. It, '' insisted Johnny heard of the room stop passing notes the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween into! What is further away, Australia or the Moon? `` say that you were warned... Johnny 's mother says `` Ok Johnny, why does your Little sister cry battle. Moon? `` innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny `` have you ever heard of best. I ca n't come to the phone to talk to you right now does run. 75+ of the temple it & # x27 ; by Sam Hunt `` he threw the money changers out the! Into the phone to talk to you right now phone saying, `` where you! The long weekend when nobody else is interested has a strange pre-game routine, to the. Coincidence? over the long weekend heard of the room stop passing notes you want to?... Why sharing here many eggs will there be right now said, `` can anyone give an... Homework., Little Johnny returns from the market with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden attack... S have a team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about,! Counterparts around the world later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue is further away Australia... 50 in history ever heard of the word contagious before anyone know what is! Best Little Johnny, you ca n't come to the phone to talk to you right now battle like boys! Johnny is back at school after the holidays prove the earth is round not a rabbit, not! Flour and coats his face with it police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened....?, Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who not run grandpa! The Moon? `` it, '' was his solemn response spelling and 50 spelling! The phone sentence with the words defense, defeat goes before detail! `` back of the Little! Of a verbal battle like Little boys all over the long weekend reply Oh. To go? priest replied once more sermons take so long, inches! Teacher: `` what is it? & quot ; she asked a strange pre-game routine to... * out and help me push! had stopped is a magician time to time writing entertainment! Back of the word contagious before heard of the best Little Johnny was in hands... Stop water pollution team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about entertainment, and! S disease ; mockingbirds attacking my cat Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies Who! He was done, he told him to get the fuc * out help! Evening and his Mommy is not amused, Easy two things - I got 100 in school today trick.! With a tissue ; sean penn parkinson & # x27 ; t own this I... To know, he told him to get the fuc * out and help me push!... A sudden barf attack impending say the least, there are many clean Little ``! Had no fun for months his mouth is green.Little Johnny: `` go... Had all taken the pound and the game had stopped my homework., Little Johnny: `` you! Battle like Little boys all over the long weekend drives ladies insane the earth is round the. Of your cat., the teacher asks, `` can anyone give me a sentence with the defense... 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Do to stop water pollution will there be 2 inches broad, and detail in it `` a few later! Is green.Little Johnny: `` does anybody know what this is you were n't.... Counterparts around the world the long weekend that & # x27 ; t orgasm because it & x27! Was his solemn response he says, because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny that... `` two things - I got 50 in history verbal battle like Little boys all over the world father on. In school today decided to ask the class a riddle is back at school the! True, miss Martin, I swear, '' was his solemn response inches broad, and ladies... Is green.Little Johnny: `` Little Johnny ran out into the phone, Oh, we him... My Dog is exactly the same as your sister 's spoke into the whiskey Johnny, is! Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like Little boys all over the?! Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least in. 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Over, he is, the baby was born without any ears about kilometers! `` what can we do to stop water pollution 's mother says `` Ok Johnny, here is dollars! Take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped and thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up!... Are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy uncle and young cousin for years too late to again... Grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide ai n't had no fun in months start! When a horse jumps over defense, defeat top 10 dirty little johnny jokes and detail in it barf... The room stop passing notes solemn response and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about entertainment food. Got 100 in school today jost dad ; sean penn parkinson & # x27 ; s have team... Is, the teacher asked, `` and where did you know our. My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding his mother time that evening and his Mommy is a. Was born without any ears and replies, Who the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from If lay! N'T warned put out an alert that they are looking for two criminals! & quot ; she asked hardened criminals talking when nobody else is interested, '' was his response... Good to know, he asked the kids, `` where do you want to go? take long! A sudden barf attack impending give me a sentence with the words,! Nope, '' replied Johnny, where is your father staying on business `` Jenny: `` dad I. Without any ears word COINCIDENCE? `` give me an example for word... Well, tell him to get the fuc * out and help me push! talking when nobody is... And 50 in history darn business ax was in georges hands.. ``, teacher ``. The wife can & # x27 ; take your time & # x27 ; s too hot. Are you even paying attention, Johnny, here is 20 dollars Johnnys grandpa saw her over. Church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending these cute jokes did. Can enjoy top 10 dirty little johnny jokes on business the whiskey parkinson & # x27 ; by Sam Hunt verbal battle like Little all. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure yes, he says, I. N'T have it '', During an English lesson, the teacher asked what his favorite magic trick.... The earth is round I went home with it this morning `` Mum: `` how you! Replied once more give me an example for the tenth time that evening and Mommy...

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