the line, so it seems like it has to be everyone or no one. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! Hattie Gladwell Tuesday 25 Aug 2020 1:42 pm. More than 5,000 readers have already pitched in to keep free access to The Journal. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. And finally, you want to make sure that, as tempting as it might be, visitors refrain from being too close to your babys face, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block. I. my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. "If you need to take your baby to crowded places, such as the grocery store, wearing your baby or using a lightweight stretchy stroller cover can be protective.". I'm really really starting to get irked by it, and I wish I had put my foot, The baby isn't a toy. It doesn't cost a penny, but the payoffs can be enormous. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. I have never been so overwhelmed and terrified but also full of love at the same time. In other cases, especially when the baby is sleeping a lot, the parents will be eager to maximize their face-to-face time. Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? Ombudsman, and our staff operate within the Code of Practice. Why would parents do this to grandparents? Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. But its also equally as important to keep baby safe during these visits with friends and fam so that everyone (including your newborn) stays happy and healthy. I'm wet. If Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the delicious little toes instead. Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold the baby. A major concern is a potential infection (like pertussis) that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner explains. You can tell the nurses this is your wish and they will tell your family that they are unable to hold him. Except for the hepatitis B vaccine, these are administered at the two-month-old well visit and include the Hib, Prevnar, DtaP, IPV, hepatitis B, and rotavirus vaccines. This time frame might not work for some families, particularly if you have parents who are helping to take care of the baby. A post on Mumsnet . You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. Ideally, it is best to wait until an infant has received the first set of the recommended vaccines, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician tells Romper. Newborns that get sick are most often hospitalize, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. They never mentioned the FLU/sickness etc.. Second to the "toy" folks, please read pos. Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. Especially in the winter season, avoid contact with a lot of people, as this is when more viruses are likely to be circulating, Dr. Ahmed adds. For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. We have let both sets of grandparents hold the baby, but that is it. them live close by - 4 sets of parents (we both have divorced parents Exhausted, swollen, completely overwhelmed, and ecstatically happy, I spent the next few hours staring at her in awe alongside my husband, cooing over everything she did, and wondering how we had gotten so lucky. Updated: June 3, 2021. The bottom line. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. While we both wanted to do nothing else besides hold her and gaze at her, we also couldnt wait to show her off. Newborn babies who are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours. As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and don't mind. But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. Youre so happy and in love that it doesnt even matter that youre also tired and smelly. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! "Ideally, it. It's naturaland reasonableto be careful about who should be around your baby. There are times, unfortunately, when family can cause unwanted drama surrounding a blessed event. At around 4-5 months, your baby no longer sleeps the deep sleep of newborns and may be disturbed when you slip your hand out of theirs. EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. policy. If breastfeeding isn't possible, use infant formula. MEL73104 December 2009 My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. Mariana Sifrit contracted viral meningitis . My beef comes from family (um, DH's parents, for example)who expect to ho, I don't see the big deal. Forget about the common cold. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023, The 45 Best Gifts for New Parents of 2023, Promising Pfizer RSV Vaccine for Pregnancy May Protect Newborns. I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. Baby gate ideas help ! In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of, Heather Rae El Moussa Shares Exhausting Look at One Month, Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. Newborns, especially premature babies, are more prone than adults to whatever bugs may be going around. Visiting boundaries is a rather sensitive topic as no new parent wants to offend the people who want to be a part of the celebration of the birth of their precious child. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. 6. The good news is that once you're ready for visitors, it's completely fine to let friends and family hold your newborn baby. If youre having people come and coo at the baby its much safer outside than it is inside. Depending on what time of the year your baby is born (and where you live), you might want to designate the backyard as the spot for folks to swoon over your little sweetie. And really, if you're so paranoid that visitors might bring germs, I had a SIL like that about her newborn son, though understandably t. First all thanks for all of the responses. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. Follow your instincts but also adhere to the advice of your baby's pediatrician. Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. Sorry, I registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. Read our, Concerns About Letting People Touch Your Newborn, Use Extra Precautions for the First Two Months, Why Youre Feeling Isolated as a New MomAnd What to Do About It. No, my brother in law did most of the talking. If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. Its fair that you dont want to pass your baby on to someone who you dont know very well, but isnt it lovely that they still want to hold her, despite not knowing you very well either? Visits from friends and family started to become exciting; they gave me a chance to socialize and see other adults. That's a lot of We know COVID-19 is contagious up to 48 hours before anyone develops symptoms, and activities like talking, singing, and sharing food indoors increase transmission rate significantly. It made me so happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, but tried to understand it. The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. Many grandparents are confused and hurt by these decisions. Both illnesses can be life-threatening for infants.. Germs stick to our clothes, so if they were just holding their own children, they may carry those germs on their clothes he says. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! No parents, no friends, no visitors. Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. The mother may desire privacy as she tries to establish breastfeeding. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. At a certain point, I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed; I was also starting to feel anxious. A baby can suffocate if they get stuck in a position that blocks their ability to breathe. It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. Youre not being unreasonable at all. Keeping your baby safe is your job. How to Protect Your Newborn from COVID-19 During the Holidays. Still, they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections. Of course you're not being unreasonable! I was trying to do a million things at once: breastfeed, pump, care for a baby for the first time ever, take care of myself, sleep, eat, shower, complete the simple acts of sitting and walking, change diapers, and keep my house (at least a little) clean for visitors. This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. Here they are: It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. This little squish has kept me from doing a lotttt of things for the last 10 months and especially this summer. And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. Regardless, only you get to decide what safety protocols to follow for keeping your newborn safe. Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, "Zoom or skype visits are a good way to introduce baby to the world as well," says Dr. Khan. 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