I dont think my colleague is trying to make give me migraines with her perfume. 15) She makes you feel special. It strikes me that she was initiating a power play. Its Bully 101 to push and push and push until the victim explodes, and then so and so blew up at me for NO REASONoh, poor me. Its quite another to pay a bunch of money on things like carpet cleaning, new mattress pad, etc., in the hope that it might appease the coworker. Its tough to diagnose on your own, Dr. Reisman says. It was actually a specific experiment testing chemotherapy-related food aversions. Weve worked together on this project for about six months, and been in the same office for about three years? When it was first released it was blissfully unscented, actually eliminated scents rather than covering them. Would you mind linking to some of that research? Let go of the guilt. :(, Oh, I totally agree. It seems to help get the scents out, but it still takes several washings to get the scent out. 5.3k views Reviewed >2 years ago. Download Article. I have the sinking feeling that OPs coworker is going to be a classic case of you cant prove a negative. Im aware of it even if its barely an element of the scent. Let me tell you, African women, French women and certain Asian women wear perfume when they are out in public. The fragrances usually smell pretty to me, but trigger migraines nonetheless. Since the boss is familiar with the situation, its really up to the boss to insist that short of a doctors order, theres nothing to be done. Being 100% scent-free is really, really hard and takes a lot of lifestyle changes most people arent willing to make for someone they only see during the day, 5 days a week. Some spells last for hours, some all day and some effect me breathing as well as I am constantly sniffling. But as I would have liked to tell some otherwise lovely people I encountered during my time in Santa Cruz, it is NOT a substitute for a shower. Then try to have a calm, sensible conversation with someone while exposed to that irritant. The OP has been, it seems, acting like a reasonable adult, which is great when dealing with another reasonable adult. You can put on a puzzled/pitying face and rotate in comments like, Wow, thats rude, and What a strange thing to say.. everyone think it is and I try to stop but its every minuet I sniff. Stop using the lemon-scented body wash for a few days and see if she keeps making the comments. Youve taken all reasonable steps mitigate this and shes being extraordinarily inappropriate with you. I was so sick that night. So The reactions of a dog that can smell illness in another dog can vary based on the type of illness and where it is. And one year when I was a broke college student, the place where I worked had basically an endless supply of get a meal 1/2 off coupons from Moes, which was next door to the store and made it the cheapest full meal I could get most days. It could also be that OP is very crunchy granola, (think Phoebe from Friends) and her coworker doesnt like those people. Maybe shes conservative, maybe she just finds them annoying, maybe shes worried OP will kidnap her and force her to participate in a drum circle. If you let mgmt/HR know you want to do what you can to address your co-workers sensitivities, youll be seen as proactive and sympathetic. Mom is a total grown up hippie though. I think the people talking about scent associations are right on the money. I also let them know Im ever so grateful they are taking my health concerns seriously. provided by the hotel. Your coworker may just be associating you with whatever smell she didnt like before. They never get to work on time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single day. LOccitanes lemon verbena is beautiful (and keeps mosquitos away..). Our nine-year-old son has trouble remembering to chew with his mouth closed. Im a grown-up, so I wouldnt do that, but oh, Lord, would I want to. Ten points to Gryffindor! Something like jeopardy would trigger a kind of nervousness. I went through a brief patchouli phase in my late teens. He might like you and love to see you every day. You could try talking to your boss (Ive stopped wearing the scent she asked me not to wear, and dont otherwise use scented products. So stop it. If the co-worker was a jerk about it I might get dramatic and fling myself to the floor and wail, what more do you want from me? But thats really better left for fantasy, I suppose. She is rude. lol Im inclined to think shes just a jerk. Never again. Every time this happens I go through a spate of cleaning everything and thinking I smell pee ALL THE TIME. I agree with the other posters who mention getting a second opinion and Alisons advice to bring in your manager to mediate. Hmmmm food for thought. This is whats confusing me about these suggestions too. That scent in particular seems to really linger even if youre not specifically wearing it. And I find even mens deodorants to be strong enough that I can smell it when they walk by. For what its worth, my mothers wardrobe is almost 100% polyester and that fabric, and other non-natural fabrics, seem to really hold onto smells. Agreed. I wonder, are there treatment options for people who are extra sensitive to fragrances? One of the easiest ways to make someone squirm is to imply that they stink. No one wants to be the smelly guy in the office. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. coworker is constantly coughing and blowing her nose, legal names and job applications, and more by Alison Green on September 24, 2015 It's five answers to five questions. As soon as you have something unprovable that isnt supposed to be questioned, bullies and jerks will latch onto it. Now I want to go looking for a nice lemon perfume, though. I mentioned to my manager that I was cutting out the one thing I could think of that could be leaving a scent, and so far there hasnt been additional complaints (that I know of). I just wanted to thank you for being considerate to your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work. And Im certainly not going to be a jerk about it. It was something I was putting in every wash, and I had been unconsciously upping the amount of vinegar over time. However, nothing I could do would fix the problem. I'd excuses myself and if boss asked why I'd say I can't be near someone who sniffles or. Youve really gone out of your way to accommodate her, and she truly cant expect (or reasonably ask) for more. I just wonder how strongly it can stick to clothes if thats how the fragrance is transferring. Whats Causing That Salty Taste in Your Mouth? Yes, most modern products are quite the cocktail, so while the scented molecules may be the most noticeable they may not be whats actually eliciting the sensitivity. I honestly just remembered there was a scented lotion I used to wear, and I would notice the smell on my clothes even after I washed them. Scent-free initiatives always seem so invasive to me. I do have a sweater that lives at the office, and I took it home and washed it after she complained. Those are lengths to which I am totally unwilling to go to accommodate someone at work and I feel are things that no one has the right to ask of a coworker. I love patchouli. I think coworker, at this point, enjoys seeing OP fly into a panic about stinking so shes keeping up the Ooh, you stink! commentary. I would not send her to HR, they are likely to be the dingbats that will turn it back on you. I understand that fragrances can be bothersome (I dont like many of them myself), but the coworker needs to define whether this goes beyond plain bothersome into I-cannot-concentrate territory. And certain West African men wear cologne. About 75% of Smelly Things gives me a headache, so I have a slight aversion as well. Agreed. When everything is researched and it ends up being something other than you, shell have to quit harassing you. It seems like some people in an office environment get a pet Thing To Complain About and lose track of either the importance or the existence of the Thing, sometimes both. But more likely these coworkers are the only people left with improvements to make in this situation. If she tries cornering you and directly accusing you, you just shrug your shoulders confused and say you dont know how you can help her solve her problem of the phantom scent. ;) So if the co-worker were to have a genuine allergy to patchouli, say, it wouldnt help. I just read your post describing your boyfriend's sniffling and was thinking that could be me writing that post. They do have a smelllol. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.html. Id be pretty miffed if I had to stop using things in my personal life. Same. It's his responsibility. If its at the point where its only popping up twice over a few months, and your coworker is upset that you keep bringing it up because she feels shes addressed it, it seems like your coworker has done what she can and it would be a good idea not to bring it up with her anymore. Does anyone have answer. I didnt want to go there, but I had that thought too. We rinsed them off and re-used them until they were super gross. does it? Morning all. I love shoe sniffing stories, especially when it involves hot girls with stinky shoes. I could not smell it at all but she certainly could. Im just glad this is a common enough problem that most hotels use unscented products to wash their linens or Id have to travel with a sleeping bag. TL;DR You cant have an allergic reaction to a scent. I love indie oil type perfumes and patchouli is not a note I typically wear (although I know very well what it smells like). People smell a certain way. its another to try to force someone to, say, buy a new wardrobe and try pills and special washes to absolutely rule out any and all possible causes. Just because she can smell something doesnt mean its bothering her. He serves as the Studio's sports and recreation section expert. Alison gave you the next steps so go from there. There have been loads of suggestions below for additional ways the letter-writer could tackle potential scents and stamp them out. Is it my body? I found a great hand cream that is lavender scented. Don't let on that you don't want to help, or you think she's stupid, since that's not helpful. I would have straight up refused to change my personal habits in such a way. Id also be thanking Boss for talking to you. You've just arrived back at the office from a heavy lunch with your colleague, and from the other side of the cubicle, you hear him let out a loud, obnoxious burp. I think shes using bother in the I dont like it sense. Ive used unscented deodorant, detergent and dryer sheets for years since I dont like the chemical scent that tend to be used with these. I would be really put out to have to start looking again. I feel like this thread could be about my brother once he gets an office job. I think you do need to use the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it is still harassment. It really is a nightmare and it has caused a host of anxiety problems for me in addition to the physical one because of the aggressive hostility I have received as a result of approaching people about their scents. Ive asked her to stop, and Id like to ask you to intervene if it continues, because its becoming disruptive, and franklyat this point her continued complaints are starting to feel like harassment., (To be clear, this doesnt sound likeharassment in the legal sense that would need to be based on race, sex, religion, or another protected characteristic but its certainly harassing in the colloquial sense. Even if some scent is lingering in the OPs clothes or her body wash is stronger than she thinks, it sounds like she uses a lot less scented stuff than many people do. For real I understand if people *like* the smell of Febreeze, but seriously, its not some magical odor-disapperating powder, so dont act like its automatically preferable to any other strong scent. Patchouli has actually been a key scent note for Dior for decades :-). Sorry you are going through this. I actually find the smell of patchouli very pleasant, but I do recognize that a lot of people have negative associations with it. Shame and guilt. Its super easy to become immune to a constant smell. Ive done X, Y, and Z. Virtually all businesses frown upon annoyances as burping and excessive sniffing, as they're breaches of basic workplace etiquette. Perhaps she does as well and is associating them with you? ;). And I dont know if the shirty pun was intentional or not, but I like it. I once tried to get a stain out for her which required washing and drying the same garment 4 times in a row.and yep, perfume was still there, almost as strong as before. I can do that too. Its possible something else has changed with the co-worker and thats why the scent all of a sudden became a problem in the last month. Is it possible the smell is in your sheets or towels? i'll pass the info along, it's really appreciated! Its really hard to find an average drug store might have one type of unscented shampoo for babies. Because some people never mature past middle school, apparently. I'm 29, she's in her thirties. Ive started turning music on while we eat as a distraction, even though I usually find background noise annoying, I just requested a two-sided headset to replace my one-sided one so it will fully block the sound of a cubicle neighbor slurping on lollipops and tapping them against her teeth. Or he is ready to take the risk of dating a coworker. Its not so bad, really, to catch a whiff here or there, but a lot of patchouli is in the form of oil, which makes it even more concentrated and in your face. And I really hope thats not the cause, but if the OP is a person of color, there is a possibility that this is a contributing factor especially if the coworker is not having issues with anyone elses scent profile. Though we also had an open thread commenter who had smell problems that it seemed might be due to her vinegar rinses, so Id say go easy on those too. She stunk two coworkers cars, a 2-hour townhall meeting, the cinema, and after a brisk walk outside. Here are eleven behaviors you absolutely do not need to deal with in a coworker: 1. I cant handle it at all! And please mind that just because the smell isnt actually THERE doesnt mean that for the coworker its not completely there. To this day, 20+ years later, the smell of chocolate (especially warmed, as in fresh-baked cookies) makes me queasy. Even in Oakland, until the past 10 years or so, it was really common for Black women to be the predominant group wearing indie oils.. This, in a nutshell, is why misophonia is so awful. Plus, it may turn out that many of OPs scent-sensitive strategies are unnecessary, and that they can indeed wear some scented products. 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